How the Scarecrow Got Its Name
by Smackalicious
Summary: Tony, McGee and an urban legend. What could possibly go wrong? Gen. ONESHOT. See author's note for details.


**Title: How the Scarecrow Got Its Name**  
 **Pairing: None.**  
 **Rating: T**  
 **Genre: Gen**  
 **Cat: Horror (at least I hope so), Humor**  
 **Spoilers: None.**  
 **Warnings: Just a little creepy.**  
 **Summary: Tony, McGee and an urban legend. What could possibly go wrong?**

 **Author's Note: Written for DNAchemLia for the Nepal auction on NFA. She requested Tony/Tim/scarecrow and for it to be a horror story. I hope it works. Another story where I played around with style a bit, as this one is all dialogue. I also have no idea if a story like this actually exists or not. It was just something that popped into my head. Enjoy.**

* * *

"Come on, Probie."

"No."

"What, are you scared? Chicken McLittle, McScaredy Cat. . ."

"I swear to God, if you add a prefix to another cowardly animal. . ."

"It's just a scarecrow."

"And hell is just a sauna."

"I cannot believe this! Don't tell me you actually believe the stories?"

"Well, why do you want me to go with you so bad if you don't even believe them? In that case, it's just a scarecrow, as you said, and who wants to spend their evening going to see a straw man standing in a field?"

"You suck the fun out of everything, McGoo."

"…"

"…"

"Fine."

"You'll go?"

"Hurry up, before I change my mind."

"Oh, this is gonna be good. Do you know how the rumors got started?"

"Yeah, farmer's dog was barking, farmer goes to investigate, it's a full moon, the crow flies at midnight, yadda yadda farmer goes missing, next day a scarecrow appears in the field wearing the farmer's clothes and the farmer was never seen again."

"I repeat: You really suck the fun out of everything."

"You got your flashlight, or does it pull down your pants?"

"What?"

"Nothing, just thinking about something Ziva said once."

"Sounds kinky. Shame I missed it. Though if you were there, chances are excellent that said conversation was squeaky clean."

"I'll have you know. . ."

"Shh! You hear that? Sounds like a dog."

"Oh, shut up. You're just trying to scare me."

"No, I heard it! . . . I hate dogs."

"Yeah, me too."

"You know, maybe we should go."

"Oh, who's scared now?"

"I'm not scared! I just . . . don't like dogs. Like I said. They can smell fear, you know."

"So you are scared."

"No! I'm just a little . . . apprehensive. You know our track record with mutts."

"Yeah."

"…"

"…"

"You wanna leave?"

"Why, do _you_ wanna leave?"

"I'm just saying, it's getting kinda late, and we don't need to be traipsing around a cornfield while some probably rabid dog is on the loose."

"Traipsing? Really? We're men, McGee. Well, I am, anyway, and I do not. . . What was that? McGee, you okay?"

"…"

"Come on, man, that's not funny."

"Really? I thought it was. Ow! No hitting!"

"I wanna go home."

"Oh, don't be such a baby, DiNozzo."

"I don't care if you think I'm being a coward anymore. It's spooky out here. Come on, I'll buy you dinner."

"Already had dinner."

"Then we can have dessert."

"I hope that's not a terrible come-on, Tony."

"No! You know what? Fine. I'll just leave you out here on your own, then."

"Ugh. Fine. Fine! We can leave. But don't think I'm not going to give you hell about this later. This is prime blackmail material."

"…"

"No, you deserve it. You were the one mocking me for being scared earlier, so I'm not going to apologize for doing the same to you."

"What the hell was that?"

"What? I didn't hear anything."

"Something touched me."

"Yeah, you're touched alright. . ."

"I'm being serious, McGee! Something grabbed my - ahhhhhhh!"

"Tony? Tony!"

"I'm okay, I'm okay."

"You sure? You don't sound okay."

"Just a little out of breath. I'll be fine."

"…"

"I mean it. I'll be okay."

"…"

"Oh, are you trying to scare _me_ now? Not gonna. . ."

"Ton-ahhhgggggggghhhhhhhhh!"

"McGee! MCGEE!"

"…"

"…"

 _some time later. . ._

 _"A search effort is underway for two missing NCIS agents, Anthony DiNozzo and Timothy McGee. According to co-workers, the two were last seen leaving NCIS Headquarters on Friday around 6 PM. As these are trained law enforcement officers, residents of the area are warned to be cautious, as it is unknown at this time what caused the agents' disappearance. Reporting for ZNN..."_

"Hey, you see anything yet?"

"Nope, no bodies, just a couple of scarecrows..."

 **THE END?**


End file.
